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My husband wants to buy cars all the time, should I let him?

Defamation Law Discussion Forum

My husband wants to buy cars all the time, should I let him?

Postby gofraidh34 » Sat Jun 23, 2012 9:46 pm

I need advice. Let me start by saying that I am so very much in love with my husband, we have been together for 12 years and we were really really happy until just recently. You see my husband is what you call a "car guy". He loves all things motors, gasoline, horsepower, speed. We currently own: a muscle car/project car, a beater truck, a Yamaha motorcycle, a dirt bike, a sport coupe that will be my sons when he starts driving in a year but my husband is driving as a daily driver in the mean time, and a new Camaro that is mostly my car but my hubby drives it too. Thats 6 vehicles between 2 drivers. I want my husband to be happy, that is why we have so many cars now, the problem is that he keeps wanting to buy more.

He has always wanted an old school muscle car so I gave him the go ahead to purchase the 1973 Plymouth Cuda, as long as he sold a lemon sports car we had. He did sell the lemon 7 months after we bought the Cuda, but it was like pulling teeth getting him to do it. He had been wanting a truck, which I do not think we need, and I told him he could get one if he sold his Pontiac GTO, his "commuter car" for a car with good mpg. So he would be selling one car to get 2 in return, I thought this was a good deal for him. And it would save us money because his commuter car was not very good on gas and took premium. Well he agreed with this bargain and bought a cheap truck right away, but he did not sell the commuter for many months, only after I reminded him of our deal multiple times. Now he is driving my sons car to commute to work instead of buying a new low mpg car, which he said he would buy later when my son took possession of his car. But now he wants to buy an old Dodge Duster instead. The Duster is supposed to be a "drift car" for fun, and won't be registered or insured, because one of the issues I have with all our cars is the insurance and registration cost of owning so many cars. He wants this car as a hobby to take to drift competitions. But our agreement was for a car with low mpg to get him to work, that Duster won't even be street legal. He pretty much wants me to give him the ok to buy whatever he wants when he wants, he says this will make him happy. I know my husband, if I say yes to this Duster he is going to want the commuter car in a few months too. He wants to buy another car every few months, but he doesn't like to get rid of the ones we already have. One thing I have to say though is that my hubby likes a good deal and all of our vehicles are pretty cheap, in fact the only expensive car we have is my Camaro. But thats because I made a choice to have 1 good car, and he chose to have many cheap cars. My one car did cost more than all his combined. Because he buys cheap cars we have a lot of repair cost, fortunately he is a decent mechanic and fixes almost everything himself. At least saving us the huge labor costs of a mechanic, but still lots of repair, and the Cuda is a project so it eats up money too.

So basically I want him to buy a commuter and he wants me to give him free reign to buy whatever he wants, he said this yesterday, he actually said "why can't you just let me go". Meaning I should just let him do what he wants. He has started saying that I don't want him to be happy, me not letting him throw away our money on whatever car he wants is getting in the way of his happiness. We make a decent living, but we are not rich by any means. The Duster is only 2 grand, which we do have in savings but every year we blow our savings on another car. I would like to keep the money as an emergency fund, but every time we have available funds he buys cars. He says it is not fair that I have a nicer car than him since he is the "car guy", should I just let him get this car to make him happy. What actually hurts me the most is him telling me he is unhappy in life, I want very much for him to be happy. I just worry that he never will be.

What do you think? Should I let him get the car he wants. Am I being a naggy controlling wife by saying no to him. He brings in more money than me, should I let him do what he wants with it? I want honest opinions please, don't try to spare my feelings. Thank you for reading and your input will be greatly appreciated.
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Joined: Fri Apr 01, 2011 1:39 am

My husband wants to buy cars all the time, should I let him?

Postby newyddilyn60 » Sat Jun 23, 2012 9:52 pm

He sounds like a tweeker . You know the ADD type with 20 projects going but never one finished.

Tell him to finish the incomplete projects before starting new ones ,,,,, and Oh yeah ,,,, lay off the meth . It will rot your teeth.
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Joined: Sat Apr 02, 2011 1:46 am

My husband wants to buy cars all the time, should I let him?

Postby ruddy » Sat Jun 23, 2012 9:55 pm

“Should I let him get the car he wants?”

As long as you have a parent child relationship, I feel you need to decide what’s best for junior.
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Joined: Fri Apr 01, 2011 7:26 pm

My husband wants to buy cars all the time, should I let him?

Postby choviohoya » Sat Jun 23, 2012 10:06 pm

Open a joint savings account with him, earmarked for for emergencies. Then,work out a budget with him, open a savings account for his hobby, and then let him buy whatever he likes.
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Joined: Sat Apr 02, 2011 4:45 am

My husband wants to buy cars all the time, should I let him?

Postby delron72 » Sat Jun 23, 2012 10:14 pm

Acquisition of material things (cars) will only make him happy short term and then he will be looking for another quick fix to make him happy. I know this because my husband has had 8 new vehicles in the last 5 years and every time he convinced me that he would be happy with this last purchase and not need anything else. He would be happy for 5 or 6 months and then make some excuse for trading in the vehicle for another new one. This has caused lots of financial problems for us and contributed to our marital breakdown. Happiness comes from within you, so if he wants to be happy, he has to find it within himself and not material things or another person. Good luck. I know how hard this must be for you.
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Joined: Sat Apr 02, 2011 9:41 am

My husband wants to buy cars all the time, should I let him?

Postby juanito » Sat Jun 23, 2012 10:25 pm

"Let him" ???

I'd be more concerned about the bylaws for your property and proper storage for all these vehicles.

Regarding extra funds.....are they really extra? Do you have savings, retirement plans in place, emergency funds etc? He needs to be a grown up about that first, you too.
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Joined: Fri Apr 01, 2011 4:40 pm

My husband wants to buy cars all the time, should I let him?

Postby aethelbert35 » Sat Jun 23, 2012 10:33 pm

Depends on your debt. He can not spend "our" money on toys. Have separate checking accounts. There are your bills, my bills and our bills. You can not spend my money, or our money on your toys. Addictions are addictions, gambling, spending, drinking, what ever. I got to a place where I had an account and he had an account. Each month we each put an equal amount into a House hold account. I made sure all bills were paid from the household account. He could waste or save his money. Neither a borrower nor lender am I. I refuse to be put in a position to be either jealous or a nag.
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Joined: Fri Apr 01, 2011 1:18 pm

My husband wants to buy cars all the time, should I let him?

Postby thom » Sat Jun 23, 2012 10:35 pm

Apparently, he is unhappy with his family. I'd suggest that you tell him to seek counseling before he considers any more beater cars. If he wants another car, then a vehicle needs to go. You don't need a trash dump in your yard full of crappy looking vehicles. INSIST that the money in savings is not for another car. It is for savings.

If he hurt his back and was out of work for 6 months, believe me, those cars aren't worth the space they are taking up. My sister has been there, done that and divorced that jerk.
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Joined: Fri Apr 01, 2011 8:51 pm

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