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My husband's ex girlfriend is still very close to his family...what to do?

Family Law Discussion Forum

My husband's ex girlfriend is still very close to his family...what to do?

Postby madison86 » Sun Nov 20, 2011 10:01 pm

My husband and his ex were together for 3years. Long story short, he fell out of love and continued to let her live with him even when separated. We met and began dating when they were still living together. He told her from day one, he'd never remarry. Well, a week after we started dating, he moved in with me...a month later, he popped the question.

We're now married and his friends, cousins, even his own sister are still very actively involved in HER life. They wont invite us to birthday parties because they invite her instead...to me, this is a sign that they just don't respect us enough.

I recently found out that the ex is getting in really close with my husband's two favorite cousin's. One of which she LIVES with. Its all so confusing to me... she even insisted on going to my brother-in-laws wedding! She is not family yet they willingly allow her to tag along on family events!

Be warned, my husband's brother and sister don't like me. His family are all avid drug users and I don't respect that sort of thing, nor do I tolerate it. "She thinks she's too good to get high with us" is what I've heard. My husband's ex gets high with them all the time.

My question...will this thing blow over or should I speak up about how it's disrespectful to my husband and I? I've got two children and we are trying to conceive now and I don't want our child to be neglected by his family.

It just seems as though his ex is still trying to be apart of his life...and they prefer her because of drugs. (Not to mention, she's kind of crazy. She used to stalk me, tried to get me fired, dug up old flames and pulled background reports on me when we were dating)...

So. Let it blow over and continue to allow her to be apart of his family's life? Speak up to someone about it? Or am I just being selfish and should cut the crazy girl some slack? ANY advice would be much obliged. Thank you.
madison86
 
Posts: 13
Joined: Sat Apr 02, 2011 6:57 am

My husband's ex girlfriend is still very close to his family...what to do?

Postby emek » Sun Nov 20, 2011 10:06 pm

My husband and his ex were together for 3years. Long story short, he fell out of love and continued to let her live with him even when separated. We met and began dating when they were still living together. He told her from day one, he'd never remarry. Well, a week after we started dating, he moved in with me...a month later, he popped the question.

We're now married and his friends, cousins, even his own sister are still very actively involved in HER life. They wont invite us to birthday parties because they invite her instead...to me, this is a sign that they just don't respect us enough.

I recently found out that the ex is getting in really close with my husband's two favorite cousin's. One of which she LIVES with. Its all so confusing to me... she even insisted on going to my brother-in-laws wedding! She is not family yet they willingly allow her to tag along on family events!

Be warned, my husband's brother and sister don't like me. His family are all avid drug users and I don't respect that sort of thing, nor do I tolerate it. "She thinks she's too good to get high with us" is what I've heard. My husband's ex gets high with them all the time.

My question...will this thing blow over or should I speak up about how it's disrespectful to my husband and I? I've got two children and we are trying to conceive now and I don't want our child to be neglected by his family.

It just seems as though his ex is still trying to be apart of his life...and they prefer her because of drugs. (Not to mention, she's kind of crazy. She used to stalk me, tried to get me fired, dug up old flames and pulled background reports on me when we were dating)...

So. Let it blow over and continue to allow her to be apart of his family's life? Speak up to someone about it? Or am I just being selfish and should cut the crazy girl some slack? ANY advice would be much obliged. Thank you.
Put a fence between your husband family and the ex-GF
emek
 
Posts: 14
Joined: Sat Apr 02, 2011 4:06 am

My husband's ex girlfriend is still very close to his family...what to do?

Postby syvwkh » Sun Nov 20, 2011 10:08 pm

WOW - I think you should send everything you wrote to Dr. Phil. But having said that, it is well known that druggies only like druggies....period. If you don't get high with them, then you are not part of them. And why would you want to be part of that anyway?

Does/did your husband do drugs with "them" or is he on your "side"? He must be aware of the blatant polarization here. Would he be willing to run away with you to a new city/town and start your lives together elsewhere, where you could just love each other and raise your family together, without all the stress?

Sounds like "she" is trying to move in on everything and everyone and get under your skin. If you and your husband could discuss this and make a pact that you will stay strong together and not let any of this affect you, maybe the relatives would give it up. After all, your marriage is still new and they are trying to test you to see if it will dismantle, since most people don't like change.

But, fast forward to 10 years from now - they would have to accept you both with your family if you were to stay strong and united. Your new relationship with your husband is still in the beginning stages and most people don't like change of any sort....so they will do anything to keep things "as they were". Your job and your husbands job is to keep a united front and show yourselves and others that nothing will come between you.

Speak to your husband about this and also get counselling together if you can. That will keep you both in focus on what is important.

All the best to you on your road together, :) :)
syvwkh
 
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Joined: Sat Apr 02, 2011 5:46 am

My husband's ex girlfriend is still very close to his family...what to do?

Postby darrell » Sun Nov 20, 2011 10:15 pm

well if they all do drugs why would you want ur kids around that? also if they all do that kind of stuff you dont want to bearound it anyway i would stay clear of his fam
darrell
 
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Joined: Fri Apr 01, 2011 2:44 pm


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