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My 8 year old neice has been doing disturbing things to my 4 year old daughter?

Family Law Discussion Forum

My 8 year old neice has been doing disturbing things to my 4 year old daughter?

Postby caomh » Sun Apr 08, 2012 11:02 am

My husbands 8 year old niece came over a few weeks ago for a sleepover, and her and my daughter were in the room watching Tv. When I went to check on them I saw them quickly come out from under neath the covers. I was concerned and asked my daughter to come sleep with me, (And my daughter happens to be 4. When I asked her what they were going, she cried and said she was scared to tell me, so I told her we would talk in the morning. So the next day, I asked her again and after almost a hour, she told me that my niece asked her for a kiss. I immediately called my sister in law, and told her what was told to me. She kind of brushed it under the rug, and said she would talk to her about it and let me know. And in doing so, she told me she is always telling her when someone spends the night with her, she is to stay above the covers. (Does that mean it has happened before with her?)
So my daughter spent the night over their house last night, and in returned my niece stayed with us tonight. My daughter refused to sleep in the same room with her, which wasn't like her. So when asked what happened to make her feel like that, she told me that last night my niece asked her for another kiss. My daughter said she told her no. About 15 minutes later she told me that my niece pulled underwear down and kissed her private. I cried like a baby at that one !! I called her mother and fathers phone for them to come and get her and they did not answer. I checked my daughter for anything that seemed to look irritated and she looked fine. I don't know what to do!! I mean Im going to let her mother know first thing in the morning, but what do I do after that? She is 8, and family !!!
caomh
 
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My 8 year old neice has been doing disturbing things to my 4 year old daughter?

Postby ring » Sun Apr 08, 2012 11:08 am

That sounds like a serious family thing, that should be handled by family, and not decided by random people on the internet
ring
 
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My 8 year old neice has been doing disturbing things to my 4 year old daughter?

Postby smid » Sun Apr 08, 2012 11:14 am

Wow that is rough. Maybe they should be separate for awhile.
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My 8 year old neice has been doing disturbing things to my 4 year old daughter?

Postby hwistlere31 » Sun Apr 08, 2012 11:15 am

Wow that is rough. Maybe they should be separate for awhile.
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My 8 year old neice has been doing disturbing things to my 4 year old daughter?

Postby arrigo » Sun Apr 08, 2012 11:21 am

you need to tell the parents what went on and ask why that 8 year old acts like that and why she acts like that i advise you to keep ur child away from her and dont leave her alone with the 8 year old...family or not that is disgusting and unnessasary.hope that helped!
arrigo
 
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My 8 year old neice has been doing disturbing things to my 4 year old daughter?

Postby giulio » Sun Apr 08, 2012 11:23 am

I'm only 14..but uhh..ik that's screwed up.. id say don't let them around eachother much, I wouldn't put so much blame on the 8 yr okd because I remember when I was little I would see girls on tv and I wanted to be like them..also my nephew likes to copy ppl, and he's only about 3 yrs old..its normal for little kids to do things after they see them, so the first thing that came to my mind is maybe the 8 yr old saw something she wasn't supposed to see, maybe by accident, so try talking to her mom about that..maybe she saw it in a movie..maybe her parents did that..? Could be
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My 8 year old neice has been doing disturbing things to my 4 year old daughter?

Postby condan » Sun Apr 08, 2012 11:31 am

I wouldn't allow my child to spend time alone with that 8 yr old girl anymore. It sounds like she has done it before too since her mother told her stay above the covers. Her parents need to step in and teach her that what she is doing is wrong instead of brushing it to the side. They probably don't know what to do either but that doesn't mean they should ignore it. I am sorry that your daughter had to go through such a thing at such a young age. Since you're family, the only thing you can only do is keep them apart and hope that your niece's parents teach her to lay off other kids.
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My 8 year old neice has been doing disturbing things to my 4 year old daughter?

Postby jung-hwa75 » Sun Apr 08, 2012 11:37 am

I wouldn't allow my child to spend time alone with that 8 yr old girl anymore. It sounds like she has done it before too since her mother told her stay above the covers. Her parents need to step in and teach her that what she is doing is wrong instead of brushing it to the side. They probably don't know what to do either but that doesn't mean they should ignore it. I am sorry that your daughter had to go through such a thing at such a young age. Since you're family, the only thing you can only do is keep them apart and hope that your niece's parents teach her to lay off other kids.
i think the 8yr old had been touched in that manner and this SERIOUSLY needs to be addressed... don't wait. i know with it being family its very hard but many people are in denial or refuse to know. take your daughters well being in mind and even if you don't suspect nothing wrong take her to the doctor. the niece clearly has some troubles that need confronted and as much as you may hate the idea she got this behavior from somewhere and it needs to be clarified. good luck to you and your family. i don't think it needs said really but well i do not think the 8yr old should spent the night for a while.
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My 8 year old neice has been doing disturbing things to my 4 year old daughter?

Postby sonny » Sun Apr 08, 2012 11:47 am

You need to confront your niece first. The reason is what if one of her parents is doing that to her. Find out how she learned about that, You need to know someone close to her may be abusing her. I know it may not be easy to do but she her nicely where she learned that from.
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My 8 year old neice has been doing disturbing things to my 4 year old daughter?

Postby wardell » Sun Apr 08, 2012 11:49 am

The first thing to remember is ...she is an 8 yr old child and does not understand the long term repercussions of her behaviour . I suggest you talk to her in a calm / kind / loving way and listen to what she has to say ....there could be a reason for her behaviour ,or it could just be curiosity on her part . If you don't get something satisfactory from your niece ...then you need to approach the parents in the same manner ...do not go on the attack or pointing the finger of blame . It's possible they don't see the problem as you do ..it's also possible there is something going on in this child's life that no one is aware of , so handling this in a calm / mature way with the child's best interest at heart...will open the door for her parents to investigate . In the mean time don't leave your child alone with her but continue to be calm / patient / and loving towards your niece , if there is a problem then she will feel safe to talk to you .
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