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Is this a good thesis statement for illegal immigration?

Talk about immigration laws here

Is this a good thesis statement for illegal immigration?

Postby iden » Tue Jul 10, 2012 11:02 pm

Immigration laws made by the United States have resulted in a situation where many illegal immigrants live and work in the United States, laws must be changed or enforced so that illegal immigrants no longer take American jobs and benefits.
iden
 
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Is this a good thesis statement for illegal immigration?

Postby rolfe16 » Tue Jul 10, 2012 11:10 pm

Not really since it is exceedingly vague. It just says things need to change, but doesn't indicate anything about direction or feasibility of change.

It also contains a logical flaw. since you postulate that current immigration laws have not achieved anything in not allowing illegal immigration, then enforcing those laws can not expected to make any difference. You do not say in your statement that enforcement might be an issue in the first part.
rolfe16
 
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Is this a good thesis statement for illegal immigration?

Postby jorel » Tue Jul 10, 2012 11:19 pm

No, it's horrible in its entirety.

That aside, there must be a semicolon before "laws," just for starters. Punctuation is taught in 4th and 5th grade, so you really need to catch up on the basics of the English language.
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