My sister-in-law is so rude and cold to me, and has been since day one. I have never understood why she didn't like me, because I really tried to be courteous and polite even though I could clearly tell the feeling wasn't mutual. My husband's family is Catholic and they're often very judgmental and pompous.
My husband and I had our wedding date set and reception hall booked almost 2 years in advanced. She was well aware, but decided to marry a guy who she knew for only a year... and set her date 2 weeks before ours. My husband and his parents tried to talk to her about it but she refused to change her date. She and her husband are now currently separating and filing for divorce soon. (One of the main reasons was that she wanted kids, and he didn't. My husband and I have two children. So I do sense some jealousy.)
When it came time for her to be in our wedding, she decided that she didn't want to stand on my side as a bridesmaid, but to stand on my husband's side with the groomsmen. Because I'm not a fan of her, I decided that was fine with me because I'd have to see her less But instead of wearing the bridesmaid dress (but in black, instead of green like the bridesmaids because I told her she'd have to wear black to blend in with the guys), she decided that she wanted to choose her own dress, because she would never wear the one I chose again. Because I wanted to avoid any more stress and drama during my wedding planning, I just decided to give in. But now I regret it. I think she sees me as a pushover and it shows by her constant rude and passive aggressive comments she makes all the time. She makes snide remarks about me, and the last time she was at our house (which was remodeled) she made very rude remarks about anything she could. I never really say anything to her, because my parents did raise me well I'd say, and they always said to have class and never stoop down to someone else's level.
However, I normally am very upfront with people and I have no problem speaking my mind. But I guess when I'm around her and my in-laws, I just hate to cause drama or come off as rude too. I hate to give them one more reason to "judge" me, as my in-laws have also said rude things to me in the past that were out of line. My husband agrees that she's very mean sometimes but he thinks she's a lost cause and that she probably won't ever change. I really want to stand up for myself, though, and do what I can to get her to stop, but I'm not sure how to do that.