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How to deal with a mean sister in law?

Family Law Discussion Forum

How to deal with a mean sister in law?

Postby iker » Thu Mar 08, 2012 4:01 am

OK, so I have a sister in law who is terribly mean, miserable, disrespectful and thinks she is basically better than everyone else. When I first net her I was 7 months pregnant with our first child and we took an 800 mile trip to visit and stay at her house for a week only to be treated like a maid, spoken downly to, gossiped about,etc. I was taking a nap and woken up by her yelling at me( I'm rather passive I admit) about leaving some lights on. I text my husband who was visiting his mom a mile away and said I was feeling a little uncomfortable there and when would he be back. He came back only to be greeted by his sister with an argument that escalated to us being asked to leave. So yes, we drove 800 miles back home. That was the day I realized she was super bitchy for lack of a better word. We have had ongoing issues with her, gossiped about by her,complaints non stop about things we do as a couple, etc. Basically, she does not like me and i was told she was a bit jealous of me (im 28, shes 43 btw) and how i am able to have children, she struggles with severe obesity, i have a better relationship with her mother than she does, etc. She came to visit yesterday after 7 months of not seeing her only for her to come and pretend i was not in the room, when i spoke to her she spoke down to me, she left complaining about us(me) to her other family members and it got back to me thru her mom. I was in tears from the frustration and I have no clue why I'm being treated this way. My question is, what can I even say that won't come back on me and me being gossiped about (that hurts) but what will get into her head about how insanely rude, mean, miserable and obviously dislikes me for whatever reason although my stupid butt seems to still care to try to be friendly and hope to make things nicer. That doesn't seen possible. I was mad and deleted her from our fb page, she's not a real friend.But now she is asking why we deleted her n i dont know what to say. Help please!!!
iker
 
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Joined: Fri Apr 01, 2011 1:24 am

How to deal with a mean sister in law?

Postby clem84 » Thu Mar 08, 2012 4:04 am

Just push her out of your life. Getting into hissy fits with people who thrive on being in hissy fits is not battling them, it's serving them. Ignore her stupid crap, don't lose your cool, don't feel the need to explain anything to her or answer any of her questions / complaints etc. Just don't talk to her or see her.

If your husband wants to see her on his own time, that's his business. If he wants you to spend time with her, explain your problems with her to him, and tell him that you won't spend time around her unless he can make her behave.

If it makes you feel any better, she probably acts this way because she resents you for stealing the only man that ever loved her.
clem84
 
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How to deal with a mean sister in law?

Postby garbhach65 » Thu Mar 08, 2012 4:10 am

Listen its obvious to everyone in the family this person has problems. Quit worrying about what she is saying about you - nobody believes it anyway and my guess is what they feel is pity for her if they feel anything at all.

Put this poor woman from your mind because her opinion of you is irrelevant. Once you decide that she is just that - irrelevant - you can get on with things in your life that really are important. Your children, husband, parents and siblings if they matter to you.

All this takes is a simple 180 degree turn of your mind-set and this woman has no more effect on your life than a frog in a swamp in Louisiana. If a family members gossips to you something this woman said about you then just tell them you could care less what she said and change the subject. "She is irrelevant to me".

When forced to be with her by family commitments minimize your contact with her and be polite in the face of her bile. Most likely you are correct in that this is based in jealousy and once she realizes you don't care any more she may quit but even if she doesn't you remain on the high road.
garbhach65
 
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