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Postby Leandre » Fri Dec 02, 2016 1:06 am

Hi I'm Emy and I'm 17. . I am a Christian and go to a Christian school like my bf. We have been best friends since we were 5 ad we've been dating for over two years. Today I started my period and something strange happened. I got this strange feeling about sex. It felt like weird and that I thought sex was hilarious. I have never felt this before. Ben and I are waiting until marriage to have sex because I have a promise ring and so does he. We want to keep that promise. My mom got pregnant with my dad at 15. She had my twin sisters at 16. I asked her how she had sex at 15 and while she was telling me the story I felt the strange feeling again. What is this feeling and why am I feeling it? It's not an urge to have sex I'm fine with waiting but why am I suddenly feeling pleasure hearing about sex and feeling strange?

ANSWER: Dear Emy,    Let me begin by saying "I applaud your(and your bf's)decision about waiting until marriage to have sex and your maturities to

recognize the reasons.  You are both very young but obviously have learned the benefits of waiting until the "right" time:  Being sure about the partner you will have for a lifetime, getting your education behind you so you will be prepared to support a family, and avoiding the complications of an early pregnancy.    What you are now experiencing is learning that your body is functioning very normally and appropriately, that you are a sexual being, and that your hormones work with your brain and sometimes initiate sexual feelings particularly if you are having a sexual conversation, watching a romantic movie, engaging in prolonged kissing, hugging or petting.  Feelings of arousal can also occur during the time of your period because of the increased flow of blood in the genital area.  You can now have the understanding that although your body is experiencing normal hormonal feelings, you can also continue to choose to use your mind and not act on these feelings until you are older and more prepared for the sexual responsibilities that go with having sex.  You sound like a very smart girl and I wish you a great life.  Sarah

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

Thank you! For my tenth birthday my dad got me a promise ring. He did that for my sisters' tenth birthday too. They all say, "True Love Waits." He got them blessed by the church and we honored that. My sister Morgan got married at 21 and waited to have sex until her honeymoon. The same with my other sister. She got married in August and about a week later we got a package from Mexico where they were on their honeymoon, and it had Ally's promise ring in it. Both of my sisters waited until marriage and I want to do the same. It's my promise to myself, my parents, and God. I have three friends I want to tell you about and they all went to my school and they were all Christians but they can't wear their promise rings anymore...

Mady: Got pregnant at 17 in 2009 right before her senior year started. An exact week before her 18th birthday she had a C-Section because she was getting really sick so the baby needed to come out. It was a boy. They named him Joshua Cameron. He was born week 28. Very premature. He was in the hospital for over 2 months. Mady and Adam were able to finish high school and now both are in college. Mady lives at her parents' house with Joshua and Adam visits him. They are engaged but waiting until the time is much better. Mariah: Started dating her bf freshmen year when they were 15. Now both are seniors and 18 years old. In October they had sex for the first time. Luckily they don't have AIDS or any type of STD and she didn't get pregnant. Katherine: 30 days BEFORE Katherine's 15th birthday, she was home alone and stressed out. She was about to commit suicide. So she called her friend Aaron who was 19 and in college, to come over or her parents would come home to find her in a pool of blood. So Aaron drove over to her house. He came in and Katherine took him to her bedroom. She started crying and venting to Aaron. They started making out. Then Katherine told him she wanted more. So he took of his pants and she took of her's. It doesn't count as rape since Katherine asked for it, but yet it does count as rape since Katherine was a minor and Aaron was 19. On her 15th birthday, she told Aaron she thought she was pregnant from that one special night. He took her to Wal-Mart and bought her a pregnancy test. The next day she took it and it said she was pregnant. Aaron promised he would help her no matter what. They told their parents and they were all shocked. In December 2008, Katherine had a baby girl named Lauren. The next summer when Lauren was 6 months, Aaron was 20, and Katherine was 16, Katherine and Aaron got married. He moved into Katherine's parents' basement with Katherine and Lauren because it has two bedrooms and a bathroom down there. In November 2009 five months after the wedding, Katherine found out she was pregnant once again. In January she found out it was TWINS. So in July when she was 17 and Aaron was 21, Lydia and Liam were born. They all live in Katherine's parents' basement still and are doing good. Katherine said she's raising her kids against sex until marriage. And even though she's married now, she's still a teen mom of three babies. All three girls regret their mistakes and wish they had waited until marriage. But now that Mady and Katherine have babies, they wouldn't change it for anything. My parents always told me how much it sucked to be parents to twins at 16. I always knew I didn't want it to be that way. Until my sisters were 8 and I was 3 weeks old, they lived in a crappy, poor apartment on the Mexican side of Grand Rapids, MI. Then we moved to Albuquerque until I was 5. My parents got a ranch there. Then when I was 5, we moved about 50 miles south of Grand Rapids to a great house. We've moved once since then. Thank you for explaining it. I was freaked out because my mom said she felt the same way the night she became pregnant with my sisters. Ben and I don't want to be in a tempting situation so the most we make out is kissing on the lips and hugging. No further than that. Since we've been best friends since we can remember, we are very comfortable around each other. We talk about tampons, bras, girl stuff, boy stuff, we don't care. We share everything with each other. We like that because that means we have a very good relationship. And once we're married and ready for sex, we'll be comfortable. If we get married at 22 and aren't ready for sex until we're 40, that's fine because we both want to wait until we're comfortable. We both agree we're not ready, at least not until we get married. Thank you! And thank you for the help. I know this isn't really a question. It's more of a reply. But oh well.  
Leandre
 
Posts: 44
Joined: Thu Jan 30, 2014 2:40 am

Feeling

Postby Torey » Fri Dec 02, 2016 3:36 am

Emy,

You really sound like a terrific young lady and I am sure your Mom, Dad and sisters are really proud of you.  You've listened to the problems others are encountering in your world around you and have made some mature decisions for yourself.   You've lucked out my dear with a boyfriend as well--as he isn't pressuring you.  While you can discuss everything, he may not be telling you that he's experiencing "feelings" as well but instead respects your mutual goals.  Teen boys are said to have "raging hormones" and unfortunately there are too many who pay more attention to what they're feeling vs the common sense in their brains.  Dialogue is really important between the two of you, and while you can have a tender and loving relationship, being celibate until marriage will pay off for you.  It's important not to tease each other however, since the flesh can be weak, and at least one of you, if not both, needs to be strong and not put yourselves into tempting situations.  But I'm sure you've realized that.  

I love the idea of your family's "promise rings."  The knowledge you have of your strength creates your good self esteem.  You will also enjoy the rewards that come with having listened to the values your family has shared and with your faith that God is there to help you realize your goals.  Much good health and happiness to you.  Keep in touch from time to time, and Merry Christmas to all!

Sarah
Torey
 
Posts: 40
Joined: Sun Jan 12, 2014 5:38 am

Feeling

Postby Arvil » Sun Dec 04, 2016 7:59 am

Hi I'm Emy and I'm 17. . I am a Christian and go to a Christian school like my bf. We have been best friends since we were 5 ad we've been dating for over two years. Today I started my period and something strange happened. I got this strange feeling about sex. It felt like weird and that I thought sex was hilarious. I have never felt this before. Ben and I are waiting until marriage to have sex because I have a promise ring and so does he. We want to keep that promise. My mom got pregnant with my dad at 15. She had my twin sisters at 16. I asked her how she had sex at 15 and while she was telling me the story I felt the strange feeling again. What is this feeling and why am I feeling it? It's not an urge to have sex I'm fine with waiting but why am I suddenly feeling pleasure hearing about sex and feeling strange?

ANSWER: Dear Emy,    Let me begin by saying "I applaud your(and your bf's)decision about waiting until marriage to have sex and your maturities to

recognize the reasons.  You are both very young but obviously have learned the benefits of waiting until the "right" time:  Being sure about the partner you will have for a lifetime, getting your education behind you so you will be prepared to support a family, and avoiding the complications of an early pregnancy.    What you are now experiencing is learning that your body is functioning very normally and appropriately, that you are a sexual being, and that your hormones work with your brain and sometimes initiate sexual feelings particularly if you are having a sexual conversation, watching a romantic movie, engaging in prolonged kissing, hugging or petting.  Feelings of arousal can also occur during the time of your period because of the increased flow of blood in the genital area.  You can now have the understanding that although your body is experiencing normal hormonal feelings, you can also continue to choose to use your mind and not act on these feelings until you are older and more prepared for the sexual responsibilities that go with having sex.  You sound like a very smart girl and I wish you a great life.  Sarah

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

Thank you! For my tenth birthday my dad got me a promise ring. He did that for my sisters' tenth birthday too. They all say, "True Love Waits." He got them blessed by the church and we honored that. My sister Morgan got married at 21 and waited to have sex until her honeymoon. The same with my other sister. She got married in August and about a week later we got a package from Mexico where they were on their honeymoon, and it had Ally's promise ring in it. Both of my sisters waited until marriage and I want to do the same. It's my promise to myself, my parents, and God. I have three friends I want to tell you about and they all went to my school and they were all Christians but they can't wear their promise rings anymore...

Mady: Got pregnant at 17 in 2009 right before her senior year started. An exact week before her 18th birthday she had a C-Section because she was getting really sick so the baby needed to come out. It was a boy. They named him Joshua Cameron. He was born week 28. Very premature. He was in the hospital for over 2 months. Mady and Adam were able to finish high school and now both are in college. Mady lives at her parents' house with Joshua and Adam visits him. They are engaged but waiting until the time is much better. Mariah: Started dating her bf freshmen year when they were 15. Now both are seniors and 18 years old. In October they had sex for the first time. Luckily they don't have AIDS or any type of STD and she didn't get pregnant. Katherine: 30 days BEFORE Katherine's 15th birthday, she was home alone and stressed out. She was about to commit suicide. So she called her friend Aaron who was 19 and in college, to come over or her parents would come home to find her in a pool of blood. So Aaron drove over to her house. He came in and Katherine took him to her bedroom. She started crying and venting to Aaron. They started making out. Then Katherine told him she wanted more. So he took of his pants and she took of her's. It doesn't count as rape since Katherine asked for it, but yet it does count as rape since Katherine was a minor and Aaron was 19. On her 15th birthday, she told Aaron she thought she was pregnant from that one special night. He took her to Wal-Mart and bought her a pregnancy test. The next day she took it and it said she was pregnant. Aaron promised he would help her no matter what. They told their parents and they were all shocked. In December 2008, Katherine had a baby girl named Lauren. The next summer when Lauren was 6 months, Aaron was 20, and Katherine was 16, Katherine and Aaron got married. He moved into Katherine's parents' basement with Katherine and Lauren because it has two bedrooms and a bathroom down there. In November 2009 five months after the wedding, Katherine found out she was pregnant once again. In January she found out it was TWINS. So in July when she was 17 and Aaron was 21, Lydia and Liam were born. They all live in Katherine's parents' basement still and are doing good. Katherine said she's raising her kids against sex until marriage. And even though she's married now, she's still a teen mom of three babies. All three girls regret their mistakes and wish they had waited until marriage. But now that Mady and Katherine have babies, they wouldn't change it for anything. My parents always told me how much it sucked to be parents to twins at 16. I always knew I didn't want it to be that way. Until my sisters were 8 and I was 3 weeks old, they lived in a crappy, poor apartment on the Mexican side of Grand Rapids, MI. Then we moved to Albuquerque until I was 5. My parents got a ranch there. Then when I was 5, we moved about 50 miles south of Grand Rapids to a great house. We've moved once since then. Thank you for explaining it. I was freaked out because my mom said she felt the same way the night she became pregnant with my sisters. Ben and I don't want to be in a tempting situation so the most we make out is kissing on the lips and hugging. No further than that. Since we've been best friends since we can remember, we are very comfortable around each other. We talk about tampons, bras, girl stuff, boy stuff, we don't care. We share everything with each other. We like that because that means we have a very good relationship. And once we're married and ready for sex, we'll be comfortable. If we get married at 22 and aren't ready for sex until we're 40, that's fine because we both want to wait until we're comfortable. We both agree we're not ready, at least not until we get married. Thank you! And thank you for the help. I know this isn't really a question. It's more of a reply. But oh well.  
Arvil
 
Posts: 54
Joined: Wed Jan 01, 2014 10:14 am


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