Welcome to Law-Forums.org!   

Advertisments:




Sponsor Links:

Discount Legal Forms
Discounted Legal Texts


Brother in law has a thing for me?

Family Law Discussion Forum

Brother in law has a thing for me?

Postby toryn34 » Mon Jul 02, 2012 2:53 pm

I'll try to make this short. I went to my husbands home country for three weeks. he has 3 brothers 2 of them married and 1 not. two of his brothers(one married, one not) live in the same building as his parents which is where we were staying. Anyway his younger brother, who is not married, sometimes said things to me that confuse me. I am kind of wondering if he was just being nice or maybe he likes me? For example, one time near the end of our trip I was in the kitchen and so was my brother in law and he said to me "I find myself coming home earlier and earlier to see you" Now I dont know if by you he meant just me or me and my husband. Keep in mind English is not his first language. Also, in their culture usually female and males are not supposed to be alone together unless they are related by blood. One time I went to see the animals they have and my brother in law was there, just him. I went to leave but he told me to come here. We stayed and talked and he asked me if I was happy to go back to America and I said well i miss it. He said hes said that I want to go back. He also saw one of my pictures and called it a beautiful picture in his own language. I am trying to figure out if he just is trying to be friendly and considers me family or something else. He makes me feel really awkward when he says that stuff. Im hoping im just overreacting to it because I dont like feeling awkward around him when I visit my husbands family
toryn34
 
Posts: 49
Joined: Fri Apr 01, 2011 2:52 pm

Brother in law has a thing for me?

Postby treasigh » Mon Jul 02, 2012 2:55 pm

Follow your gut. A woman's intuition is rarely wrong. Try to stay away from him alone. You don't want any misconceptions or problems starting. You also can't trust him. He might blame you if he gets called out.
treasigh
 
Posts: 46
Joined: Sat Apr 02, 2011 6:10 am

Brother in law has a thing for me?

Postby darik2 » Mon Jul 02, 2012 3:02 pm

take both of them!!!
darik2
 
Posts: 45
Joined: Sat Apr 02, 2011 5:31 am

Brother in law has a thing for me?

Postby orson19 » Mon Jul 02, 2012 3:04 pm

You are overreacting. If he was flirting with you, you could politely tell him to stop if you find him offensive. I think you do enjoy the compliments, that's why he was becoming more abrasive to you. Tell him you don't appreciate his behavior and if he wanted you to respect him, he better behave himself.
orson19
 
Posts: 36
Joined: Sat Apr 02, 2011 4:14 am

Brother in law has a thing for me?

Postby thom » Mon Jul 02, 2012 3:07 pm

It is very hard to be thrust into a different culture. I don't think it really matters about following your intuition, or whether you like the compliments or not. I think your best bet is to simply play it safe. You can use their cultural morals as an excuse. Next time you go visit the in-laws and find yourself alone with single bro, excuse yourself and declare your modesty as an excuse. Since you obviously don't see each other too often, I wouldn't worry about the possible flirtations at this point (nothing major happened right? no touching, no attempted kiss, nothing, right!). What I would be focusing on is how to avoid being put in that situation during the next visit. If you aren't alone, he won't say those things, then you won't have this problem. But for now, just get in the back of your head that he was being sweet, and pray that you're right.
thom
 
Posts: 36
Joined: Fri Apr 01, 2011 8:51 pm

Brother in law has a thing for me?

Postby bellden » Mon Jul 02, 2012 3:16 pm

Sounds like he is either flirting or because his country doesn't allow a lot of interaction (and there is the language barrier) he may just be incredibly awkward with women and not know how to communicate normally with you.

I would ignore it. You won't see him everyday as he lives in another country.
bellden
 
Posts: 52
Joined: Thu Mar 31, 2011 8:19 pm

Brother in law has a thing for me?

Postby leland » Mon Jul 02, 2012 3:29 pm

Sounds like he is either flirting or because his country doesn't allow a lot of interaction (and there is the language barrier) he may just be incredibly awkward with women and not know how to communicate normally with you.

I would ignore it. You won't see him everyday as he lives in another country.
so shouldn't feel awkward at all ,because if it's in their culture to not be alone with the opposite sex unless it a blood relative than he is wrong for asking you to have a conversion alone with him.in my opinion he knows your from a another country and he has no respect for americans or he knows were more liberated in america than in his country when it comes to male and female communication.there is a big difference in cultures that are male dominated and when men who've been oppressed from females in their culture come accross an american they think us to be disrespected because they have not been born with free will and am not able to mantain the freedom's we in america have towards each other(male and female)so yes i do belive he was indirectly flirting with you
leland
 
Posts: 56
Joined: Sat Apr 02, 2011 6:26 am

Brother in law has a thing for me?

Postby shaddoc98 » Mon Jul 02, 2012 3:39 pm

Why don't YOU just take what he says as more of compliments towards/to you & let go of him having any other meanings to it. The first time he said anything, both you & his brother were there together. Perhaps he just meant how much he enjoys your company. Meaning the two of you. He's now no doubt starting to think when you'll be going & won't have you around to enjoy your company. He hasn't really said anything to "come on" to you per se, only things that could honestly be said of BOTH of you. For now, I'd take it as being meant for both of you & leave it at that, It WILL make you feel lots better & not put a strain on things while you're there. Unless he says anything directly to/of you, I'd give him the benefit of the doubt. Some things just could be interpreted due to the language barrier too. Try to be "open minded" for now unless you truly do have reason to feel otherwise. Try too to treat him, as you treat the other family members. That too would be more inclined you're not treating him differently...best to you, honey...:)
shaddoc98
 
Posts: 55
Joined: Fri Apr 01, 2011 6:23 pm


Return to Family Law

 


  • Related topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post